


I Can't Feel Him

by LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou



Series: Let's Work Together, But Apart. [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 19:46:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou/pseuds/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou
Summary: Set 2x20. Magnus' POV when Alec is in pain while Jace dies.Set in the "Let's Work Together, But Apart." series.





	I Can't Feel Him

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the people who have followed this series from the beginning. I think there is one more story in the series. 
> 
> I seriously appreciate the support. 
> 
> Much love, 
> 
> Ash <3

Magnus had been staring at screens for who knows how long. There were no signs of demonic activity, and there was still no word from Jace or Clary. He wasn't going to tell Alec, but he had a feeling something was wrong. That was when he heard Alec gasp in pain. Magnus spun on his heels to face his boyfriend, 

"Alexander, are you okay?" 

He saw Alec doubled over, panting each labored breath. Magnus moved towards him and noticed Izzy did the same. When Alec lifted his shirt slightly, they noticed a rune glowing. Magnus knew what the rune was, but Izzy said it aloud,

"His parabatai rune."

Magnus watched as Alec had trouble speaking. The shadowhunter hissed his words through the pain. 

"It's... Jace." 

The pain became too much, and Alec fell to his knees. Magnus didn't think he'd ever moved as quickly in his life. Alec screamed out in pain. Magnus knew he'd never be able to forget that sound. There were a handful of times in his long life that Magnus felt helpless, but this moment would rank high next to Rangor's death. All he could do was kneel behind Alec for support. 

When Alec's screamed died down, Magnus watched as he once again lifted his shirt. The warlock moved closer as he watched the rune fade from his lover's skin. His heart broke when he heard, 

"I... can't feel him." 

Alec's arm collapsed, and he fell back into Magnus. The younger man tried his best to calm himself as if the surroundings became clear to him. He finally said out loud what Magnus already knew. 

"He's dead."

Magnus listened to the labored breaths, not wanting to smoother Alec. Isabelle sat silently next to them. Her mask cracking by the second. Other Shadowhunters had stopped their work to figure out the situation. The Lightwood siblings needed to leave the room. Magnus got close to Alec's ear to whisper.

"Alexander, I know a part of you has died, but can you stand long enough to give them orders?"

He saw Alec nod his head saying yes, 

"Can you help me up? I don't think I can get up on my own." 

Magnus pushed on Alec's back as his shifted to stand up. He stood behind preparing himself in case Alec stumbled back. Isabelle found her way up next to her brother. The siblings relied on each other. Alec took his signature leadership pose. Legs shoulder width apart with his arms fixed securely behind his back. What no one else could see was how Alec opened one of his hands. Magnus understood that Alec wanted him to hold onto him. Alec needed to feel grounded. When he slipped his hand into Alec's, he could feel him relax. 

"Everyone had their assignments. There is nothing to see here. If we want to stop Valentine, get back to work." 

The other Shadowhunters in the room scurried off like rats. Magnus was thankful that Alec's affiliation with him didn't affect how the others viewed his leadership. 

"Magnus..." 

Alec and Izzy spoke in unison, both of their voices strained. Magnus needed to get them away from prying eyes. 

"Come on, Alexander. Let's get both of you to your office."

The siblings said nothing. The silence was eerie as they walked through the Institute. He wasn't sure how Alec would deal with the aftermath of Jace's death. Alec felt lost when Jace went with Valentine weeks prior. Now that his parabatai was dead, Magnus didn't know how Alec would react. 

Once in the office, Magnus moved his hands as he allowed magic to permeate through the room. 

"I put up a spell. No one can hear what is said or done in here. If you need to yell, please do. I will magic things for you to break. We have to finish this war once and for all. There are deaths to avenge. Tell me what you need." 

"Magnus, no more magic. You used enough earlier." 

Alec had yet to look Magnus in the eye. He immediately sat down on the leather couch next to his sister.

"What do you need, Alexander? Just ask." 

"I... can't." 

Magnus moved to be in front of Alec. He took Alec's face in his hands, so he'd be able to see his eyes.

"Alexander, I need you to look at me." 

The younger man couldn't respond. He gasped for air. Isabelle looked over concerned

"Magnus, what's wrong with my brother?" 

"He is on the verge of a panic attack." 

Magnus kissed Alec's forehead and let his thumbs stroke Alec's cheek.

"Come on, baby. Stay with me. Listen to my voice. I'm right here."  
   
Alec's eyes were wide open, fear behind them. Magnus sat on the couch in between the siblings and pulled Alec into his arms. From personal experience, Magnus knew that being hugged tightly helped him relax. As the tightened his hold on Alec, the trick seemed to work. Alec's breath began to even out. Magnus kissed the top of his boyfriend's head.

"That's it, love. I won't let go. Breathe for me, sweetheart." 

Magnus glanced over at Isabelle. She was stronger than people gave her credit. He released one of his arms from around Alec to let Isabelle know he was here for her too, not just Alec. 

"Come here, Isabelle. I can hold you both." 

She leaned into the warlocks open arm and cried. Magnus had lost many people over the centuries of his life. Some that were friends while some were lovers. The only loss he'd never experienced was the loss of a sibling. He wasn't fortunate enough to have one. Magnus just held on to the Lightwoods for dear life. He wouldn't let them drown in the darkness. 

That was how Maryse found them fifteen minutes later. Magnus with an arm around each of her children. She had tear tracks of her own down her usually stoic face. 

"We think Valentine will reach Lake Lynn at any moment. Are you both able to take on this mission?" 

Alec and Izzy stood up, ready to take orders. Alec spoke for the first time since his panic attack.

"Yes, we are on it, but we are taking Magnus with us." 

Magnus would always be impressed by the resilience of the young. He put a hand on Alec's shoulder once he also stood up from the couch, 

"Alright, Alexander. Let's end this once and for all." 

Magnus smiled. He was proud of his boyfriend.

"Valentine needs to pay for what he's done." 

"He killed one of my best friends. A man I trusted for centuries. Alexander. Between the three of us, he won't make it out alive." 

Alec and Izzy nodded in agreement. They were on the same page. The trio would make sure today was the last day Valentine would be allowed to breathe.


End file.
